SIZE 8,SHIKS KAPYENGA, HUDDAH MONROE,
VANESSA CHETTLE, SANAPEI TANDE and
MAUREEN KUNGA of ELANI are just five of
the ten names listed by the controversial
Kenyan blogger Cabu Gah in his list of the
10 Kenyan Celebrities he would like so have
sex with.
In a long update coupled with detailed
explanations, Cabu Gah named and
explained the reason behind his desire to
have coitus with every woman on this list.
Shockingly, even Njoki Chege a fellow
controversial blogger made the list… how?
why? well, find out below;

THESE ARE THE KENYAN CELEBRITIES I
WOULD either FUCK,DATE OR MARRY…
In America,there is a very popular game
called,”F–K,MARRY OR KILL”.
That game is played by groups of friends in
bars,parties,social gatherings, school….etc.
It’s also widely played by Celebrities on TV
and Radio interviews.
What happens is: YOU ARE GIVEN A LIST OF
3 Celebrities…If You are a Man,You are
given 3 Female celebrities. And if You are a
Woman,You are given 3 Male celebrities.
And then You are asked,who between them
would You F–K,Who would You MARRY and
Whom would You KILL.
And last Month,Rapper 50 Cent played the
game. 50 Cent was asked in an interview,
Between Iggy Azaelia,Rihanna and Nicki
Minaj,WHO WOULD HE F–k,Marry or Kill.
And it was INTERESTING!
50 said that he would F–K Iggy
Azaelia,Marry Rihanna and,Damn,Kill Nicki
Minaj. Haha.
And earlier this Year,RnB singer Miguel
played the game too. He was asked Between
Nicki Minaj,Kelly Rowland and Jhene
Aiko,Who would he F,MARRY or KILL.
And straight up,Miguel said,”Just Because I
think she is crazy in Bed,I would F Nicki…
Marry Kelly Rowland and KILL Jhene Aiko!”
Whoa!.
And so today,CABU GAH IS PLAYING THAT
GAME TOO.
I will share a 3-Part Article on Kenyan/East
African Female Celebrities that I would
either F,MARRY OR DATE. I think I should
replace the word ‘KILL’ with ‘DATE’.
The Word “Kill” is a very very sensitive word
in Kenya today.
And I don’t want Ole Dengu claiming that I
have crossed the RED LINE. Hahaha.
Okay,Okey….Here we GO.
PART ONE: WOMEN I WOULD F.
1. SIZE 8. Yup,I know she is married but
Daaaaaamn! Size 8!!! Could it get hotter than
that?? Have You seen how high she can
throw that teke in the air?? Now,convert
that teke into a bedroom game! Man! Size 8
is the Ultimate Bedroom Bully. Like,she’s
always ON FIRE like 24/7! And why do You
think almost every new song she release is
called ‘MOTO’??? Juu yeye ni MUOTOOO.
Buuuda,Size 8 about to make You lose Ya
Breath…I would definitely F her! Anytime,
Anywhere!
2. ANGELINE WANDERI. Now Now
Now,Angeline is the KISS TV Presenter that
Everyone clearly loathes. Me
included,Hehehe. Lakini,let’s forget about
her nauseating presentation skills for a
minute,Have You seen how this GIRL is so
damn TURNT UP??? Like Everyday?? And
have You seen how she dresses?? The very
tiny things she wears??? Woi,Angeline Oh!
You go Kill Me. Imagine Angeline in Bed,If
she can get so Nasty in front of the
cameras,Imagine how Nasty she can be in
tha Bed. Angeline Anytime. I would rip up
that silly tiny dress,grab her by her
mouth,pull her hair back and tell her,”SHUT
UP and GIVE IT TO ME!” Huku sio KISS TV.
3. SHIKS KAPYENGA. Yes,I know. I know.
Don’t tell Me. I know she has the swag of 4
Men. And wouldn’t be considered sexy by
many men…Lakini have You ever seen her
on Churchill Raw?? With Mbussi and MC
Jessy?? Akianani Shiks Kapyengaaaaa! Crazy
Crazy! Those little dresses…. those little
thighs…those High Heels…that little ka-
haga….And that mouth…that very active
mouth of hers…Shiks would just KILL IT in
Bed…By wearing the sexiest high
heels…black stockings,a nasty leather
bra….and crawling allover You…Shiks is the
Ultimate Bedroom Goddess.
4. HUDDAH MONROE. Dont Even ask. Even
the cockroaches hiding under Your
grandmother’s calabash would love to F
Huddah. Don’t ask why. Everyone knows.
She could turn You on in Your fuckin grave.
5. VANESSA CHETTLE. Yes,that ka-tiny rude
girl. The girl who,earlier this Year,It was
said was spreading HIV/AIDS across this
town to all male celebrities…And dating
Men old enough to be her Forefathers.
Remember her??! Yes,this girl is almost
always in the Club. Always. Dressed like a
Brothel Queen in Romania. And she is
almost always smoking a shisha….Looking
like a crematorium chimney. Gai Fafa. I
would F Vanessa so badly she would need to
stitch bandages and apply Deep Heat all
across her little butt every morning. Hot as
FIRE!!!
6. CINDY OF UGANDA. Yup,this is the girl
who sang,”so when Am in the Club DJ,Play
my music so loud …Put My troubles all
away…this one’s for You n Me….Eh!
Selector!” Wah Wah Wah. Did You even
watch the damn video??? And Did You see
the hotpants she wore?? Hot like nonsense!!
She’s a RUDE GYAL. A Bad Gyal. And when
she opens the song like,” Uh,a Who dat?!! A
me dat!!” Woi,my balls do a dance. Cindy,I
WANT YOUUU!! BAD BAD BITCH.
7. SANAPEI TANDE. But Ofcourse. After
watching Mfalme wa Mapenzi,Anything
would want to F Sanaipei Tande. Including
the rats hiding in my house. Hope You saw
those thighs….Hope You saw her in the
Jaccuzzi…Legs in the air…soap foam allover
her…those eyes…that voice….Woi Woi
Woi…Sana,You need a Mfalme wa Kitanda!
Like NOW!!!
8. NJOKI CHEGE. Seriously, I don’t KNOW
WHY Njoki Chege is on this list. And I DON’T
KNOW WHY Njoki Chege should NOT be on
this list. Combine her skills and her boldness
and her controversies and her crazy head
and BOOM the Bedroom is on FIRE!!!! We Be
All Night! Looooooovee!!!! And then
tomorrow she can write an article titled,’16
REASONS WHY I CANT GET ENOUGH OF
CABU GAH’ Hehehe.
9. KAZ. You remember her,Right?? The Girl
who was in the first ever Project Fame??
Back in 1980! Also,the Girl who once almost
dated Prezzo. Also,the Girl who smokes like
a dumping site in Mukuru kwa Njenga.
Also,the girl who has admitted to be half-
lesbian…KAZ KAZ KAZ!!! I would fap to her
voice alone! Sembuse picha! Gimme Kaz
anytime! Anytime my Brother! And I’ll be
eating her up like Chipo za Sonford na kuku
quarter.
10. MAUREEN KUNGA of ELANI. Maureen is
the Queen. She had to CLOSE THE LIST. Have
You all seen Maureen’s very Heavenly bust? I
repeat ,Have You all seen Maureen’s super-
sexy bust? And for the last time,Have You
ALL seen Maureen’s jaw-dropping Buxom???
Maureen has OFFICIALLY THE BEST PAIR OF
B–bs in Nairobi. The BEST. I said it! They
can turn You on in Your sleep! I am still
NOT sure why I just want to F Maureen
Kunga. Instead of Marrying her. But those
Boobs tho! Woi…
There You have it….10 WOMEN I WOULD
LOVE to F. Just that. Just F–K. Nothing else.
PART TWO: WOMEN I WOULD LOVE TO
DATE.
CAROLINE MUTOKO TOPS the List.